The 2017 Spank Bank Award Winners

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The 2017 Spank Bank Award Winners
The 7th annual Spank Bank Awards were held LIVE over the weekend from their traditional locale of the lavishly furnished man cave in the palatial estate of Spank Bank Awards founder Gabriel Lan in the suburbs of warm, sunny Nowhere Special, USA. Once again, there was a record number of pornstars receiving a record number of nominations for awards they all truly deserve. Porn. The only ‘sport’ where every participant deserves an award, or at the very least, some sort of accolades and recognition.
As is also now traditional, a copious amount of previously unannounced Technical Category awards was handed out during the pre-show in the red carpet / patio / deck area earlier in the evening before it was time for the main event.
Gabriel Lan opened the festivities by welcoming everyone in attendance, singling out his date for the evening, the beautiful Lisey Sweet before introducing the lovely, talented, and outright hilarious Missy Martinez, who took over hosting duties this year, and has subsequently been given the job for as long as she likes. After roasting both herself and virtually everyone in attendance in her opening monologue with her own unique brand of humor, Missy got right to business, calling for awards show trophy girl Charlotte Sartre to bring out the first three awards. Fellow trophy girl Ryan Riesling promptly stuffed a trophy into each of Charlotte’s orifices and she them all carried to the podium with ease, along with a fourth trophy which she carried by hand just for good measure. Showing off her own multitasking and supreme ho holes abilities, Ms. Martinez later brought five awards to the stage at once, adopting the same one trophy per orifice method while carrying one trophy in each hand.
Follow the announcement of the show’s final award of the night (the Dirty Little Slut of the Year), Missy invited everyone in the backyard. Once there, Missy got onto all fours so Charlotte could light and shoot fireworks out of her ass while Ryan fed her mozzarella cheese sticks to kick off the after show awards party.
Ninety plus Major Category award winners, filled with some expected wins and a few surprises (along with who knows what else) continued to build until the time came for the awarding of the “unholy trinity” of porn awards: Sexiest Woman Alive, Most Spanked To Girl of the Year, and the Dirty Little Slut of the Year to close out the show. So, without further ado, here is the list of this year’s winners:
*Note: Spank Bank Awards are voted on by a panel of porn critics (me), noted adult film connoisseurs (me), outside adult industry media insiders (me), x-rated film fans (also me), and a committee chairman (you guessed it: me). Nominees who entice or influence the panel with any form of ‘sweet talking’, ‘sexual innuendo’, ‘buttering up’, or outright eluding to sexual favors greatly increase their chances of winning.*

2017 Spank Bank Award Winners

Award Winner
Airtight Angel of the Year Ashley Fires
America’s Porn Sweetheart A.J. Applegate
Amazing Asshole of the Year Adriana Chechik
ATM Machine Riley Reynolds
Bad Ass Brunette of the Year Abella Danger
Baroness of Licking Lady Ass Aria Alexander
BBC Slut of the Year Kagney Linn Karter
Best All Around Porn Goddess Anikka Albrite
Best Body Built For Sin Kenzie Taylor\
Best ‘Come Fuck Me’ Eyes Samantha Rone
Best DSL (Dick Sucking Lips) Keisha Grey
Best ‘Just Got Fucked’ Hair Dani Daniels
Best Legs Aidra Fox
Best ‘O’ Face Veruca James
Best ‘Resting Bitch’ Face Chanel Preston
Best Smile Elsa Jean
Best Spitter Maddy O’Reilly
Best Swallower Sarah Vandella
Bionic Butthole Violet Monroe
Blonde Babe of the Year Kagney Linn Karter
Bondage Artiste of the Year Anna de Ville
Boobalicious Babe of the Year Kenzie Taylor
Born To Hand Job Riley Reid
Cocksucker of the Year Dahlia Sky
Contessa of Cum Romi Rain
Countess of Contortionism Megan Rain
Creampied Cutie of the Year Carter Cruise
Cuckold Connoisseur of the Year Melissa Moore
Cumback of the Year Hillary Scott
Customs Specialist of the Year Serena Blair
Deepest Throat Amara Romani
Dick of the Year Prince Yahshua
Dirty Little Slut of the Year Angel Smalls
DP Dynamo of the Year Valentina Nappi
Empress of Nipple Paradise Charlotte Sartre
Excellence in ‘Lawn’ Maintenance (aka Best Groomed Bush) Gia Paige
Excellence in the Creation of Smut (aka Director of the Year) Dana Vespoli
Facial Cum Target of the Year Alexa Grace
Fetish Virtuoso of the Year Casey Calvert
Fun Sized Fuck Toy Holly Hendrix
Gangbanged Girl of the Year Stella Cox
Gloryhole Guru of the Year Katrina Jade
Hardest Working Ho in Ho Biz Cherie DeVille
Imported Enchantress of the Year Stella Cox
Instagram Girl of the Year Jillian Janson
Life Sized Human Hand Puppet (aka Best Fistee) Alexa Nova
Masturbator of the Year Missy Martinez
Mattress Actress of the Year Veruca James
Most Adorable Slut Trillium
Most Awe Inspiring Gape Ella Nova
Most Beautiful Seductress Brett Rossi
Most Comprehensive Utilization of All Orifices Abella Danger
Most Energetic Fuck Bunny Amara Romani
Most Fuckable Feet Kate England
Most Luscious Labia Anya Olsen
Most Photogenic Nymphomaniac Lily Labeau
Most Spanked To Girl of the Year Adriana Chechik
Most Talented Tongue (Best Girl/Girl Kisser of the Year) Sasha Heart
Most Underrated Slut Violet Monroe
Most Volumptous Vixen Angela White
My (Wet) Dream Girl Angel Smalls
Natural Born Cock Killer Karla Kush
Newcummer of the Year Alex Grey
PAWG of the Year Kate England
Porn’s Next Superstar Lana Rhoades
Prettiest Girl In Porn Jaye Summers
Prettiest Whore Mouth Britney Amber
Pretty In Pink (aka Prettiest Pussy) Jennifer White
Production Studio of the Year Arch Angel
Puppeteer of the Year (aka Best Hands/Fister) Lorelei Lee
Pussy of the Year Kimmy Granger
Queen of Cunnilingus (Girl/Girl Star of the Year) Jenna Sativa
Ravishing Redhead of the Year Anna de Ville
Red Bottomed Babe of the Year Casey Calvert
Servile Sub of the Year Alexa Nova
Sexiest Woman Alive Casey Calvert
Sharing Is Caring (Cumswapping Cutie of the Year) Penny Pax

 

Smooth As Silk (aka Best Bald Beaver) Charlotte Sartre
Snapchat Sweetheart of the Year

Sovereign Dom of the Year

Juelz Ventura
Super Squirter of the Year A.J. Applegate
Supreme Majesty of the Stripper Pole Ash Hollywood
Tattooed Temptress of the Year Dahlia Sky
The Dirtiest Player in the Game Adriana Chechik
The Girl Next Door…. Only Better Haley Reed
The Total Package Jillian Janson
Tightest Twat Ariana Marie
Tortured Fuck Doll of the Year Charlotte Cross
Tweeting Twat of the Year Missy Martinez
Two Hot Dogs in a Hallway Maddy O’Reilly
Webcam / Skype Show Girl of the Year Shawna Lenee
Website of the Year LegalPorno.com

 

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